My wife is magical. She made me home-toasted muesli yesterday. When I ate breakfast this morning and it dawned on me that I have maple syrup in my breakfast cereal, I wanted to marry her all over again.
Tag: humour
Microsoft has a sense of Humour
People here are always joking that my boss and I need to clone ourselves. Usually because computers seem to only behave when we’re peeking over someone’s shoulders. With the “Digital Education Revolution” (more computers per school), having a clone seems like it might be the only way to keep on top of it all.
Seems someone at Microsoft has a sense of humour about it, and sent us this clever “cloning kit” to promote their range of management tools and software licensing options. I though it very clever.
Some Uncomfortable Truths
- That show you like? Unless it involves people being voted off every week, it won’t be on next season.
- We know it took you a half an hour to ‘mess up’ your hair this morning.
- Unless you already work for NASA, right now, today — you’re never going to be an Astronaut.
- No one reads your blog.
- Putting in an energy saving bulb isn’t going to offset your pollution while you’re CEO of an oil company.
- There is no way all 415 of them are actually your friends.
- Sometimes in the night, when it does get a little lonely, I reach over and touch it. Then it doesn’t feel so lonely anymore.
- If you don’t like your job, SUCK IT UP! A lot of people hate their jobs but do it anyway. Or alternatively, find a better job that makes you feel more fulfilled. Whatever suits your circumstances.
- Your Asian tattoo does not — I repeat DOES NOT — make you seem deep. However, your barbed wire tattoo does succeed in making you look like a dick.
- You probably aren’t as ugly as you think you are. Unless you’re very attractive and know it. In that case it’s likely that you’re a teensy bit less pretty than you like to think.
Special thanks to my co-author Carlynne Nunn. This sucked until she fixed it.
Executives at Mattel Inc. held a press conference Monday to unveil the toy company’s latest product, Plain Pamela, a homely doll designed to boost the confidence of girls ages 7 to 12.
New Homely Doll To Improve Self-Image Of Young Girls | The Onion — America’s Finest News Source
What a terrific idea!
Rules for Buses
- The bus is always late.









